L1060155When I actually started to believe in myself, I began to notice several things that happen on a regular basis. It almost seems if they happen by chance, but I know better than that now.

Every thought you have, action you take (or don’t take), word that you choose and statement you make, creates and builds your days, months and years…your destiny. When you believe in yourself, the following things could begin to happen.

1. Coincidences will happen more often. I don’t believe that coincidences are random. I once read that “coincidences are messages from God” and I now live by that. You can choose to pay attention to coincidences, or you can just write them off as a random occurrences. When you believe in yourself, you believe in the infinite power of the Universe and realize that things happen for a reason. Ultimately, this belief will lead you to take more risks and amazing things will start to happen.

2. Decision-making becomes easier. I used to agonize over the most mundane decisions and would sometimes take months to come to a conclusion. It was exhausting and I never got anything done. If you don’t make decisions, you live your life on the fence and commitment to any given outcome is next to nil. You become stuck. When you believe in yourself, you can decide and take action. Therefore, you get results and gain momentum.

3. You’ll view mistakes as important lessons. A “mistake” is actually a blessing in disguise. How can you make sound decisions if you don’t have some “mistakes” and experiences on which to base your decisions? I now learn from my mistakes and use it as a tool…I choose to see it as a blessing and important teacher.

4. Confidence will become second nature. Now that you have a bunch of mistakes under your belt, you will have learned more lessons and know more stuff. And by know more stuff, I mean you can admit that you don’t really know anything! Confidence doesn’t mean you have to be loud and walk around with your chest puffed up. It’s quite the opposite.

5. You will ask for what you need. This is a never-ending challenge for many people. They spend a lot of time upset because they don’t get what they need, but they never asked for what they needed in the first place! It can be difficult to ask for what you need because we can sometimes view that as being selfish. Throw that belief to the curb – sometimes we spend so much time trying to figure how to get something, when the simple solution is to just ask!

6. Your intuition becomes your guide. Gut feelings are real. Listen to what your body is telling you and you’ll realize decision-making is more than a list of pros and cons. This is in direct relation to believing in your infinite wisdom – God, Universe…whatever your name for the Higher Power is.

7. You view your problems as challenges. When God throws a problem at you, it’s actually an occasion to rise to a challenge. It’s an opportunity to step up and an opportunity for growth.

8. You will find that saying you’re wrong becomes easier. You can’t be correct all the time. Sometimes you may make a decision or take an action that doesn’t serve you or others at the highest level. It’s okay…if you know you made a mistake, when you believe in yourself you can admit to it and move on. More than likely you will earn more respect and admiration from the other party. Honesty and humility prove to work on your side every time.

9. You become aware of your limiting beliefs. We tell ourselves stories…all day every day! A lot of the time the stories are only figments of our imagination and we form all of our values and beliefs based on false statements. I continue to identify beliefs that hold me back every day. When you start to experience a negative emotion, start questioning why you feel that way. What would you have to believe in order to experience that particular emotion? Where did that belief come from? Is it even true?

10. Your dreams will come true. All of my dreams have come true, and now I’ve created new ones. I am living proof that if you believe in yourself and the infinite organizing power of the Universe, you will attain everything you’ve ever wanted. When you believe in yourself, you are confident, you can make decisions, you will take necessary action (even when it’s scary), you’ll fall on your face and pick yourself back up…you will continue to grow.

You can manifest everything you ever wanted in your life. You create and build each day with the thoughts that you have…about yourself, about others, about life. Take the first step, just one small action, and create the momentum. It’s the 1% improvement every day that compounds to push you where you want to be – you’ll be unstoppable!

DESIGN your life. Be creative. Be outrageous. Be playful. Believe in yourself and                BE AWESOME!

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The First Time I Met My Dad

sunriseI had an incredibly powerful meditation 3 days ago. I woke up around 5:30 and drove to “Not-So-Secret” Beach. As I walked down the dark, nondescript path in my rain boots, trampling on dead hala leaves and ducking under trees, I had a sense of accomplishment wash over me. I have fallen out of my meditation practice over the past few months and this marked the first day of reestablishing my routine.

I reached the water’s edge and spread my blanket on the black sand. The ocean was roaring and the smell was so fresh and clean. There was a slight breeze and I was happy that I decided to put on a scarf before I left my tent.

I had envisioned myself sitting on my blanket, eyes closed, feeling my body and setting some intentions. However, the scene was so beautiful I didn’t want to miss a thing, so I just sat there, listening to music and saying thank you to God for all of the amazing gifts he’s given me in this life.

I started to think about my dad. He died in a car accident when I was a year and half old and over the past couple years he’s been on my mind a lot. I have been longing to have a relationship with him – to really feel his presence, his love. I’ve only seen pictures and heard stories about him. I don’t remember him at all.

As I sat on the beach, the sun began to rise and it spontaneously brought me to my feet. I walked toward the water to get as close as I could to the warm sun. My heart began to race and I started to cry for no reason at all. It took me off guard, but then I realized that my father had entered my thoughts as if out of nowhere. I could feel his presence. How do I know it was him? I don’t know how. I just did. So there I stood, laugh-crying, heart racing and filled up with so much love. I thanked him for coming and didn’t move too much for fear of losing this feeling. My hands were in prayer and nestled against my heart.

My obsessive thoughts about my dad led me to an energy worker in Dallas over the holidays. She told me that I should let him know that I’m not scared and that he can show himself any time (I guess this was one of those times). It sounded a little too out there for me…like I didn’t have the ability to connect energetically with the souls who have passed. She assured me that I could. I guess you don’t fully believe something until you experience it yourself.

The conversation I had with my dad wasn’t like the conversations we have with each other here on earth. I would throw something out there and just feel his response. I became skeptical quickly and realized I could just be creating this because I’ve been missing him for so long. Maybe I’m crazy!

I had a reading done with Kathy, a volunteer here at Kalani and one of the most intuitive women I’ve ever met, the week before. She cleared a lot of unnecessary energy and energy that I picked up from other people over the past 34 years.

In that same session, she channeled my dad. I’ve always been very skeptical of this kind of thing in the past, but we are energy and energy cannot be destroyed, even when the physical body dies.

She told me some things about him. He kept saying that he was so young. He said he always saw himself as a “lone wolf” and was happy that I found a way to surround myself with a tribe–that’s the word he used. He was also so proud of me and that he has been with me on and off my entire life.

Kathy asked if I was in an accident (which I was). He told her that he was there, and I believe her. In high school I was in the back seat of an SUV without my seat belt on and we flipped it 4 and half times. I walked away with a bloody nose and some scratches and soreness. She said he also used to sing me a song. But then she changed it to jingle because, as she put it, “he’s showing me bells.”

I still have to ask my mom about that one. But while I was on that same beach yesterday, the Double Mint gum jingle popped into my head (and he was there yesterday, too). Not sure if that’s the jingle he would sing…maybe I just wanted some gum. Either way, I was open to doubling my pleasure.

So as I stood there, spending time with my dad, I asked him if I could see him. “I only have pictures” I said. “Please, will you let me see you?” I waited. I looked around, my body stiff. Still with my hands snug to my heart…I don’t know why I thought I couldn’t move during this experience!

After a couple minutes, I remembered that when Kathy was channeling him, she pointed and said he was standing over my right shoulder behind me. So naturally, I slowly turned my head in anticipation, over my shoulder, ready to see my father. The sun was in the perfect place and warm on my face, and the image that I saw over my right shoulder…was my shadow. My fucking shadow! I looked forward back at the ocean and at the sun while I laugh-cried once again. And once I caught my breath, only moments later, I turned back to see him, the extension of myself, and it was gone. The sun had moved and my shadow was in a different place. The timing of the whole experience was impeccable.

I thought he left, but he hadn’t. I closed my eyes and felt him directly in front of me, his hands, large and around mine that were still in prayer. His hands completely took over mine and we stood – forehead to forehead. I thought about how weird it must be for him that I am older than he was when he died. I cried about how difficult it must have been for him to leave his family behind. I thanked him for being with me now and all the times before when I wasn’t aware. He’s sweet. Like really amazingly sweet and loving. And playful. After we shared that moment I stood there with my eyes closed, hands still at my heart in prayer.

My body swayed back and forth. I wasn’t doing it! It was just happening. Almost like when you get pushed on a swing. You have no control of how high you go forward and backward, but you love every minute of it and wait for the next ride. I was laughing so hard as my body went back and forth…sometimes it felt like I was going to fall down. Then, after a few minutes, I gradually came to a stand still. There I was, right back where I started, eyes closed, hands in prayer against my heart, tears running down my cheeks, heart racing and trying to catch my breath.

I hung out with my dad. I totally. hung. out. with my dad! I didn’t really understand the magnitude of the experience until I showed up at that same beach again yesterday at 6:15. And he joined me again. This time I didn’t stand frozen in one place. I climbed on top of some lava rocks for a better view. I reached my hands into the air and worshipped the sun, the ocean, the trees, God. And he was there the whole time.

I danced. For 15 minutes, at least, I danced my heart out. I thought for a moment how embarrassed I would be if someone showed up, but then I said to myself, “So what if a stranger shows up and sees me dancing. Am I going to rob myself of this joy, this freedom, because someone who I don’t know MIGHT show up and see me? Hell, they would probably love to see some girl dancing with all her heart on the beach by herself! They might even join me!” So I danced more freely, giving thanks to God, the Universe, my higher Self.

Anything is possible, you just have to open your heart, be quiet, and listen. I am infinite. I am an extension of my dad, of God, of the Universe and of you.

P.S. A few weeks later, after many visits to that same beach at the same time, I realized that it was impossible for the sun to cast a long shadow over my right shoulder. It was always short and directly behind me…for my entire time at the beach. There is no way the sun would project my shadow in one place, and then project it in a totally different place within seconds. There goes my logical brain again…playing tricks on me, trying to convince me that I didn’t see what I saw.

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During my relaxation and much needed solitude after coordinating the Hawai’i Yoga Festival, I read some old journal entries to see how I’ve changed since being here at Kalani. This entry is a prefect example of truth behind the old adage “be careful what you ask for.” I wrote this approximately 4 months ago…

I’m sitting on my tent’s patio drinking coffee and enjoying the perfect morning. Perfect temperature, perfect sunlight, perfect bird songs and perfect breeze. My body is sore from the housekeeping department’s field games and I couldn’t be more pleased with these sensations. I haven’t been very active lately and 3-legged racing and slip-n-sliding are just what I needed.

Hawaii is an interesting place. Not just the physical, Garden of Eden type setting with perfect weather, rainbows and ocean waves. But the transformations that we have all gone through. I’m in month 4 now and I’m getting antsy. Yes yes, I know, poor Tiffany living in Paradise. But you can only be on vacation for so long before you begin to lose your sense of purpose and your contribution to humanity.

Where’s the balance? I like a little stress. I like some deadlines. I absolutely love setting a goal and achieving it. I revel in the completion of a job well done. A job that was difficult and demanded my brain power and tested my patience and perseverance. The relaxation and party times are much more enjoyable when you’ve spent the days, weeks or months pushing your limits and seeing what you’re made of. That beer at the end of the day tastes better when you’ve fallen on your face and either picked yourself up or fallen down again. Because it doesn’t matter if you experienced the former or the latter, all that matters is that you were out there doing it. I love that feeling. I even love the disappointed feeling to a certain degree because I know that sooner or later I’m going to rise to the top of that setback and learn a lesson from it.

Now, if you were to catch me amidst that challenging time, there is a pretty good chance I will behave a little less noble! But in the long run, and looking back on those times, I’m so grateful that I went through them. Those moments made me who I am today and it helps me to appreciate where I am right now, because I know a change is coming. I’m getting to work my way out of this funk and the light at the end is so fucking bright…I can feel it in my bones.

You don’t want to be happy all the time. You can’t have blissful and unencumbered happiness without hitting the lowest of the low. Life works in paradoxes. You can’t be generous without having a certain degree of selfishness. You can’t be all light with no dark side. Embrace your shadow self, that part of you that is just a little bit (or a lot) dark. I’ve spent so much time and energy despising the aspect of myself that gets discouraged when things aren’t going exactly as planned. What I’ve learned to do now is to acknowledge it and not get stuck in it. It is impermanent, it will eventually pass. I can either passively sit back and let it consume me, leading to excuses and justifications for negative behavior, or I can notice these feelings, spend time with them, feel where it’s happening in my body…get to the root. Acknowledgement is key. Action is imperative.

I’m going to do something different, because wallowing in my loneliness is hindering my birthright to be AWESOME! Things beyond my conscious observation are happening right now to get me closer to my goal. My biggest problem right now is my lack of clarity on said goal. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted when I arrived here, the past couple of months have changed that vision completely.

It’s interesting looking back and having record of my thoughts. I did end up doing something different. I did end up learning huge lessons, I did get to see what I’m made of and I saw very clearly what was just “talk” and what I have actually learned and implemented. The temper tantrums and overuse of the “F ” word when things got tough during the festival showed me exactly how much room is left for improvement!

Have you pushed your limits lately?

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I spent the morning reading some of my previous posts and I’m amazed at how much my life has changed. At first I thought to myself, “Oh my God, what happened to my passion? What happened to that burning desire to educate people about food, exercise and a healthy mindset? Have I become complacent living on this island?” My lack of desire to share that knowledge really scares me because that has been my identity for so many years. By not wanting to fight the good fight and spread the word, I feel like I am losing my identity.

I was living the majority of my time on a cruise ship when I was writing those articles. I was surrounded by processed food and advertisements, bathing in and drinking chlorinated water, breathing recycled and chemical-laden air, and adapting to a mentality to sell sell sell! My co-workers were stressed out and over-worked. The majority of the guests who came to sail with us were also stressed, unhealthy, glued to their cell phones, and found it almost impossible to relax.

There was a huge demand for the information I was sharing at the time, and I was on a mission. I was surrounded by people who were unnecessarily suffering…many of them had no idea that their diet, thoughts and stress were the main culprits in their misery.  It broke my heart to meet so many wonderful people who were trying to “fight” cancer, “combat” high blood pressure, “suppress” their hunger…you get the idea. The very language they were using was counterintuitive to the result they were after.

I absolutely loved teaching them easy ways to feel better and help them to realize that they were not victims. Those were my so-called “glory days.” I loved being on stage and impacting people with the knowledge I would learn and share. So why don’t I enjoy teaching about those subjects anymore?

The answer is simple, but I only just discovered it today! I live in Hawai’i now. I have surrounded myself with a loving community and immersed myself in nature. The demand for my previous teachings about the consequences of an artificial lifestyle have dropped dramatically.

People come here to slow down, listen to themselves, and stop making excuses. We have all discovered, but it’s not always easy to accept, that this is REALITY. This is the real world for us now. When I arrived here almost 8 months ago, I referred to this life as “fairytale land” and dreaded when I had to go back to the “real world.” But why rush back to the life that was filled with stress and unfounded expectations? Why can’t rainbows and butterflies be the majority of my existence?! It’s okay to let happiness be the majority of my experience, and hardships be the minority. Why has it taken me so long to accept this? Well, 33 years of conditioning probably has something to do with that!

For years I have been teaching people that their past does not equal their future. Meaning, the horrible things that have happened in the past do not define who you are today. You are in control creating a beautiful life. I find it so shocking that all this time I have only focused on the past that can overpower us as being the negative stuff. It took reading my own articles to realize that the “past that does not define who I am” can also be the positive experiences that I’ve been clinging to and by which I’ve identified myself.

It’s okay to open the door to new experiences, to re-invent yourself time and again. And I can still “fight the good fight” from a million different platforms. Helping to educate, inspire and motivate people doesn’t have to happen from a stage. In fact, at least in this moment, I feel I’m making more of positive impact on myself, the planet and others now that I’ve stepped out of the florescent spotlight and into the Hawaiian sunlight.

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L1030547I live in an amazing community on the Big Island of Hawai’i. Every Monday morning, one member of over 120 volunteers will deliver a weekly inspiration. As per many requests, the following is what I presented…

I purposely signed up to do the weekly inspiration on October 28th. I figured that 2 weeks out from the Hawaii Yoga Festival, an event that I’m coordinating, there would be potential for stress, anxiety and pressure from the clock. So I thought, what better way to ground myself than by standing up and trying to inspire my entire community in just a few minutes? My ego works in interesting ways.

That brings me to today’s topic: The ego. From the time I was first introduced to Freud’s teachings in Junior High, I learned that my ego is the cause of all my misery. When I entered college, in Psychology 101 they taught me the same thing. When I started my career in the health and fitness field, I witnessed first hand how a person’s ego inflicted massive emotional pain and even physical injuries. When I walked into my first yoga class 9 years ago the teacher told me to leave my ego at the door. And finally, after sitting my second 10-day Vipassana course, I got a nasty dose of how my ego had certainly been the cause of my misery.

So it’s no surprise that somewhere along the way, I linked up that my ego is the source of ALL my pain and it must be destroyed. Many of you might agree with that statement. However, no one ever taught me the benefits of my ego, and no one ever led a class teaching me to let my ego speak. The core of most teachings that I received was to identify the ways your ego was abusing you, then silence it!

When I arrived at Kalani 7 months ago, I was on top of the world. It was a brand new, exciting chapter in my life. It had been a life-long dream to live in Hawai’i. Little did I know, Pele was waiting for me…ready to chew me up and spit me out!

We use the phrase “E Ho Mai” a lot around here. “Let it come, let it flow.” It makes total sense, but when you’re in the middle of a “crisis” and someone says “e ho mai”, oftentimes my brain is more like “e ho mai God! What is happening?!”

I was in a bit of a funk the past few months. I closed myself off to others and spent most of my time alone at Chez Stiffy (That’s the name my friends have given my tent…it’s not as dirty as it sounds!). During those lonely hours, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing here! This little voice in my head kept aggravating me, challenging me to look at my life.

“Am I just wasting time here? What am I afraid of?” are just a few questions I repeatedly asked myself. I enjoy accomplishing things, setting goals and achieving them. I really miss speaking in front of crowds, sharing things that I’ve learned and watching the moment a person realizes how powerful they really are. It’s magical. Teaching people, performing, achieving goals, hearing people tell me that their life improved after talking with me…that feeds my ego…but it also feeds my spirit.

The balance of ego and spirit, in my opinion, is one of the secrets to fulfillment. I’ve learned that the ego isn’t as bad as I once thought it to be. Without my ego, I wouldn’t have been able to stand up and speak in front of hundreds of people each week. Without my ego, I wouldn’t have traveled around the world..a lot of the time solo. Without my ego, I wouldn’t have studied so hard. Without my ego, I wouldn’t have developed the confidence to make a positive impact on people all over the world. Without my ego I wouldn’t be up here telling you all of the ways that I’m awesome! I believe that I’ve been put on this planet to help people realize their true power and show them how to step into it. So without my ego…I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my destiny.

That little voice was beating me up for a few months. It wasn’t like a full on beating, it was more of a constant thump on my nose, just slightly irritating. It didn’t really hurt at first, but after a while, with it’s unbelievable perseverance, it started to get painful! If you know what I’m talking about, I want you to listen very closely now. Will gave me some great advice while I was doing this to myself, so I would like to extend that to all of you now.

He said, “Tiffany,” and I’m paraphrasing, “let that voice speak instead of trying to silence her. Let her have a voice. Write it down and let her be heard. Then get her on your side…because she’s powerful.”

That really made me think. So I did let her speak and I wrote down her thoughts for hours (that bitch is long-winded!). And Will was right – she is powerful. Instead of fighting her, I’ve used my communication skills and I’ve gotten her on my side. So the point of my story is this:

Your ego is not the enemy. It just likes to showboat. You can still let your ego in the car, just make sure you let your Spirit drive. But don’t forget, the ego is the world’s worst backseat driver! He thinks he knows where you’re going but he gets lost all the time! Your humble Spirit knows the way – and sometimes it just might need to pull the car over! But just like you wouldn’t throw your unruly child out of the car, don’t try to eliminate your ego. When kept in control, it serves you greatly and has a powerful voice…love it and let it speak through your Spirit.

I love all of you from the bottom of my heart and I’m proud to call you my ohana. So let it come, let flow. E ho mai God, we are blessed!

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I oftentimes hear excuses as to why people don’t have the body and the health that they desire. Responsibility with our health is something that many of us don’t want to take. All of these excuses and justifications have helped me to realize why we are in the position we are in as a society. We have all the tools, all the outlets to get information and people who are on the same mission that I am on to make a positive impact on the world and improve the health of ourselves and our planet. Where is the gap and why do we continue to fall into it time and time again?

I think that most are searching for the quick fix, the one person to tell them exactly what to do so (subconsciously) they won’t have to take full responsibility when they fail to reach their outcomes. We can get so busy taking care of everyone else, worrying about what everyone else is doing, following Tweets and Facebook comments that we don’t take 20 minutes of our day to figure out what is really going on inside our bodies.

Dr. Brian Clement of Hippocrates Health Institute in Florida says that total health cannot exist without spirituality. The further I progress through this life, the more I realize the necessity of the belief in and gratitude to God (or whatever higher being in which you believe).

Your spirituality is key in attaining whatever it is that you want in your life, including extraordinary health. Education is essential in achieving your outcomes, but all the education in the world will never light the fire of desire beneath your sedentary bum without the recognition of a higher power that is bigger than you and me. The reason many of us don’t have the life that we want is because we don’t have a COMPELLING REASON to achieve it. We don’t pay gratitude to our Creator on a daily basis. We don’t want to accept responsibility for the ailments that plague us.

You are 100% in control of your actions, reactions and emotions. In fact, that is the only thing in life that you are 100% in control of, regardless of what you may think or tell yourself every day.

Meditate, cultivate feelings of gratitude EVERY day, play and be silly, be aware of your inner dialogue, be compassionate, love yourself, don’t take things too seriously and always follow your heart! Identify the REASON why you want something.

My reasons for exercising and eating healthy, natural foods is bigger than feeling good and looking a certain way. I refuse to take for granted the gifts God has given me. When I exercise I am giving thanks to God for blessing me with a healthy body that is able to move. When I eat living foods, I am showing respect by nourishing my soul to fulfill my destiny as an advocate for our health, our planet’s health, and the health of all creatures. When I abuse my body, I feel like I disrespect God and myself. I believe that I cannot fulfill my destiny to serve others and I certainly cannot inspire others to take responsibility for their health if I don’t do the same.

These are the reasons I exercise, eat natural foods, laugh, play and breathe in the fresh air! These are the reasons why I share what I learn. It’s all about perspective…What are your reasons?!

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The “Secret” To Health and Weight Loss…Really

unnamedStress and shallow breathing contribute the most to back pain, weight gain, illness and unhappiness. Stress is the most detrimental additive to our lifestyles. After all, that stress drives you to the high-calorie, high-sugar foods that we know we should avoid.

So how do you reduce stress? One way is to BREATHE! I know, I wrote about this last week. I recommended a breathing exercise that I learned from Tony Robbins. It works wonders and just takes a few minutes. This post is all about WHY it works.

Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 20 seconds then exhale for 10 seconds (Ratio of 1:4:2) The reason you’re holding that first breath is to really encourage your body to accept the oxygen. When you slowly exhale at a rate twice your inhale, you are ensuring that you eliminate as many toxins as possible. After all, respiration is one of the main methods of your body’s natural detoxification processes (along with perspiration, urination and bowel excretion).

This activity isn’t just great for metabolic functions, but it is necessary for proper immune function and lymphatic decongestion. Your lymphatic system has many functions, but it is basically the sewage system of your body. It gathers up all the junk, works with other systems and tries to eliminate toxicity.  You have 4 times more lymph than blood, but, unlike your blood, it does not have a pump. The only way your lymph moves and flushes toxicity from your body is by deep, diaphramic breaths and movement, i.e. exercise.

A deep diaphramic breath sucks the lymph into the thoracic duct and stimulates the lymph flow by as much as 10 times than normal sitting around and simple walking from point A to B (which, sadly, is what the typical American does these days, walking on average less than 400 yards per day!). Visualize taking a vacuum cleaner to your blood stream and sucking all the poison out so your blood flows freely and can carry nutrients to your cells. That is essentially the power of this type of breathing.

A healthy, functioning lymphatic system means increased immunity, energy, blood flow, and a lower risk of disease and a decrease in stress. You get all of these benefits by simply taking a deep breath, not a pill! When you get upset at work or at home, your coworkers or family may tell you to calm down and take a few deep breaths–It’s surprising all the things we already know how to do to be healthy :-)

We are animals, and animals have instincts. We’ve just gotten a little too distracted with our smart phones, video games, social media, and our desire to shed weight fast that we have stopped listening to our innate instincts and using common sense.

Breathe, meditate, do yoga, do the activities that make you smile! Just make sure you tap into that nutrient and oxygen rich blood in the lower lungs. That’s were the magic happens. Your lymph, your brain and your metabolism will thank you for it.

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